How to Write a Eulogy for an Ex-Partner
Writing a eulogy for your ex-partner may feel like one of the hardest things you’ll ever face. They may have been your first great love, the person you built memories and milestones with, or someone who remained important to you even after your paths diverged. Whatever the connection, the challenge is the same: you’re trying to capture their place in your heart and your life’s story — all within just a few minutes of spoken words.
That can feel impossible — and in some ways, it is. No single speech can reflect everything your ex-partner was or everything they meant. But it can capture something true, and that glimpse can bring comfort to those listening.
This is why a eulogy matters. It gives voice to your grief, but it also celebrates your ex-partner’s life. It helps those who listen connect to their own memories of them, and it leaves you with the reassurance that you’ve honoured them in the best way you can.
Writing for an ex-partner is often uniquely meaningful. They may have been your first love, the person you once built a life with, or someone whose influence continued long after your relationship changed. An ex-partner is not just a chapter in your past — often, they remain part of your story through shared experiences, memories, or family ties. That makes the task of speaking at their farewell both tender and profound.
To stand and speak at their farewell can feel like both an honour and a responsibility — a way of expressing gratitude, sharing parts of your journey together, and reflecting the impact they had on you and others. That makes the task deeply significant.
It’s important to remember there is no “perfect” eulogy. It doesn’t need to be polished or poetic. It just needs to be sincere.
Whether your ex-partner’s death was sudden or expected, whether you are speaking in a place of worship, at a crematorium, or at a gathering of friends and family, your words will matter most because they come from you.
In this guide, we’ll explore what a eulogy for an ex-partner means, outline structures you can follow, provide reflection prompts, share a full example speech, and offer gentle advice for writing and delivering with confidence.
What a Eulogy for an Ex-Partner Means
A eulogy for an ex-partner is not just a recounting of your past together. It’s an expression of respect, gratitude, and remembrance. An ex-partner often holds a uniquely important role: they may have been your first love, the parent of your children, or someone whose presence shaped who you are today, even if your lives eventually took different paths.
When we speak of them at a funeral, we are often speaking not only about what they did, but about who they were — the qualities that defined them and the way they touched the lives of those around them.
A eulogy for an ex-partner often weaves together three strands:
Love and Gratitude — the affection, lessons, or shared experiences that made your relationship meaningful, even if it changed over time.
Stories and Memories — the moments that reveal their character: their humour, their kindness, the dreams you once shared, or the way they showed up for family and friends.
Legacy — how their influence continues to live on in you, in your family, and in the lives of all who knew them.
Even the words we choose carry meaning. “Ex-partner” may feel formal, while “former husband,” “former wife,” “co-parent,” or even a nickname you once used often reflect the real nature of your bond. Whichever you choose, the significance lies in your relationship with them.
And remember: your ex-partner’s story doesn’t have to be told in a grand way. Sometimes it’s the smallest moments — a shared laugh, a tradition you once held, or the kindness they showed — that capture them more vividly than any milestone.
Types of Eulogies for an Ex-Partner
There’s no single “right” way to write a eulogy. Some people naturally tell a life story in order, while others prefer to highlight qualities, values, or defining memories. Knowing the different styles can ease the pressure, because it reminds you that you can choose the shape that feels most natural to you — and to your ex-partner’s story.
Below are three common approaches. You don’t have to follow them exactly, but they can give you a helpful starting point as you think about how to organise your words.
Chronological
This approach tells their story in order: childhood, early adulthood, your relationship together, and the life they built after.
Example opening: “My ex-partner was born in 1972 in London. From the very beginning, their determination and humour shone through — qualities that shaped our years together and continued long after.”
Thematic
This focuses on qualities or themes such as love, resilience, humour, kindness, or parenthood.
Example opening: “If I had to choose one word to describe my ex-partner, it would be resilience. Whatever life threw at them, they faced it with courage and strength, inspiring those around them.”
Hybrid
This blends both: a brief life timeline followed by themed stories that highlight their character.
Example opening: “My ex-partner’s journey began in Manchester, but what truly defined them was their generosity and their loyalty — qualities that touched every stage of their life and every person they loved.”
Most people find the hybrid approach easiest, as it balances structure with flexibility. Whichever style you choose, remember that what matters most is authenticity. Even a simple framework can carry deep meaning when the words come from the heart.
Structure of a Eulogy (Framework You Can Follow)
One of the biggest hurdles in writing a eulogy is simply knowing where to start. Having a clear structure can ease the pressure and give you a roadmap to follow. You don’t have to stick to it rigidly — the most meaningful tributes are those that feel natural — but these five parts can help you turn scattered memories into a flowing, heartfelt speech.
Opening Words
Begin by welcoming everyone and acknowledging why you’re gathered. A simple thank-you creates connection straight away.
Example: “Thank you for being here today to celebrate the life of my ex-partner, David.”
Life Overview
Offer a short sketch of your ex-partner’s journey — where they grew up, family life, their career, passions, or key milestones. Keep it brief; the aim is to provide context, not a full biography.
Stories and Anecdotes
Choose two or three moments that capture who they were. These might be funny, touching, or everyday stories that reveal their character. Anecdotes are often what people remember most.
Qualities and Values
Highlight the traits that defined them: loving, devoted, humorous, resilient, or generous. Linking these qualities back to your stories make the tribute feel cohesive.
Closing Words
End with a final farewell, a blessing, or a comforting thought. This is your chance to leave listeners with a lasting impression of their spirit.
Example: “David, your humour and light will stay with me always and carried in our memories.”
Reflection Prompts
Facing a blank page can be daunting. Sometimes the hardest part of writing a eulogy is knowing where to begin. Reflection prompts are gentle questions designed to spark memories and help you put scattered thoughts into words. They give you a starting point — not to limit what you say, but to open the door to stories and feelings you might otherwise overlook.
Use these prompts to get started:
What lessons did my ex-partner teach me that I still carry with me?
How did my ex-partner show love, humour, or support in everyday ways?
Which routines, traditions, or moments we shared remind me most of them?
What did my ex-partner value most in life?
If I had one more chance, what would I thank them for?
If those prompts feel helpful but you’re still struggling to put pen to paper, another way to spark ideas is through objects connected to your ex-partner. Physical reminders — like a photograph from your time together, a gift they gave you, a song you both loved, or even a message they once wrote — often unlock memories and emotions that questions alone can’t reach.
Memory Exercise
Sometimes memories flow easily; other times they feel just out of reach. A simple exercise can help unlock them. By using objects connected to your ex-partner — a letter they once wrote, a gift exchanged, a favourite item of theirs you still have, or a photo from a trip you shared — you can trigger stories and emotions that may be exactly what you want to include in your eulogy.
Try this:
Gather photos, letters, or personal items connected to your ex-partner.
Choose one and write about the memory it evokes.
Free-write for 10 minutes without editing.
Highlight one or two details you could share in your eulogy.
Asking mutual friends, members of their family, or even colleagues for their favourite memories can also help. Even a single story from another person may spark ideas of your own and remind you of moments you want to bring into your tribute.
Example Eulogy for an Ex-Partner
Reading examples can often make the task feel less overwhelming. Seeing how someone else has shaped their thoughts into a speech helps you picture what your own might look like.
The following example isn’t meant to be copied word for word — instead, it shows one possible way to weave together shared memories, personal qualities, and gratitude into a flowing tribute for an ex-partner.
As you read, notice the structure: a short welcome, a few meaningful stories, reflections on their character and the life you once shared, and a heartfelt closing. You can adapt this to your own ex-partner’s story, swapping in details and moments that feel true to your relationship, whether that connection was shaped by friendship, shared history, or enduring respect.
Good morning everyone, and thank you for being here today. We’ve gathered to celebrate the life of someone who meant a great deal to each of us in different ways. For me, that person was my former partner — someone who, even though life took us on separate paths, will always remain an important part of my story.
When I think back on our time together, I don’t just remember the big moments — though there were plenty of those. I also remember the small, everyday things: the way they could make me laugh when I was stressed, the long conversations that stretched late into the night, and the comfort of simply knowing there was someone who understood me. Those memories are what stay with me most vividly.
Our relationship, like many, had its ups and downs. But what endures beyond all of that is respect. We shared experiences, built memories, and created parts of life together that can never be erased. Whether it was celebrating milestones, travelling, or supporting each other through challenges, those years were filled with lessons and moments I will carry with me always.
One of the qualities I admired most was their determination. No matter the challenge, they faced it head-on. They believed in giving their best — to work, to family, and to the people they loved. It was impossible not to be inspired by their drive, or by their ability to pick themselves up after setbacks and keep moving forward.
They also had a warmth that touched many lives. Friends, colleagues, and family often spoke about their kindness and generosity. Even when things weren’t easy, they still managed to offer support to others. That giving spirit is part of the legacy they leave behind, and I know it will continue to echo in the lives of everyone here.
As I stand here today, I don’t just mourn the end of a life — I honour the part they played in mine. Our time together shaped who I am, and I will always be grateful for that. Though we may not have shared every chapter, the chapters we did share will remain with me forever.
So, goodbye for now. Thank you for the memories, for the lessons, and for the love that once was. May you rest peacefully, knowing you were valued, respected, and deeply remembered.
Want to see more eulogy examples for an ex-partner? We’ve put together a dedicated page of eulogy examples for an ex-partner — offering different lengths, tones, and styles to help you find inspiration.
💛 Struggling to Write a Eulogy for Your Ex-Partner?
The above example eulogy for an ex-partner is around 392 words (2.5–3 minutes). A full eulogy is usually 800–1,200 words (6–8 minutes), giving you more space to share stories and memories.
If you’re unsure how to start, or stuck partway through, we can help. We’ll shape a thoughtful first draft from your memories — or give kind, constructive feedback on what you’ve already written.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Even with the best intentions, many people find writing a eulogy harder than expected. Grief makes it difficult to think clearly, and the pressure of “getting it right” can feel overwhelming. The good news is that almost everyone faces similar hurdles, and there are gentle ways to move past them.
Here are some of the most common challenges — and simple approaches to help you through:
Too emotional to write
Grief makes it hard to focus, let alone write. If tears stop you before you start, try jotting down short notes or bullet points instead of full sentences. You can also record yourself speaking into your phone — sometimes words flow more naturally when spoken than when written. Later, you can shape these fragments into a draft.
Worried about leaving something out
Every life is bigger than any single speech, and no eulogy can capture it all. The aim isn’t to say everything, but to say something meaningful. Choose a few stories or qualities that represent your ex-partner best. Listeners will fill in the gaps with their own memories, and that’s part of what makes a eulogy so powerful.
Unsure how long it should be
Most eulogies last around 6–8 minutes (roughly 800–1,200 words), which feels comfortable for most services. But some families prefer a more detailed tribute lasting 10–20 minutes (around 1,500–2,500 words), especially at celebrations of life or memorial gatherings. The right length depends on the setting and what you feel needs to be said.
Do’s and Don’ts
When you’re writing a eulogy, it can be reassuring to have some gentle guidelines. These aren’t strict rules — every tribute is unique — but they can help you focus on what really matters and avoid common pitfalls.
Do:
✅ Keep it personal
Share your own memories and experiences rather than trying to sound like someone else. Listeners want to hear your voice.
✅ Use small details
Everyday touches — a favourite phrase, a well-worn chair, the way they stirred their tea — often capture more than big achievements.
✅ Practice aloud
Reading the words out loud will help you find the right rhythm and spot anything that feels awkward.
✅ Allow yourself to pause
Emotion is natural. Taking a breath, sipping water, or simply standing in silence for a moment can be just as powerful as words.
Avoid:
⚠️ Feeling you need to be formal or eloquent
A eulogy isn’t a performance — sincerity matters more than polished language.
⚠️ Forced humour
Gentle humour can bring comfort, but only if it feels natural and true to your ex-partner’s personality.
⚠️ Comparing your words to others
Every tribute is different; focus on what you want to say, not how it measures up.
⚠️ Apologising for emotion — it’s natural
Tears and pauses show the depth of your love. No one will think less of you for them.
Tips for Delivering the Eulogy
Even with a carefully written speech, the thought of standing up and speaking can feel daunting. The good news is that no one expects perfection. People will be listening with compassion, not criticism. These tips can help you feel calmer and more prepared when the time comes.
Rehearse aloud
Reading silently isn’t the same as hearing your words out loud. Practising a few times will help you hear the natural rhythm, smooth out tricky phrases, and build confidence.
Print your speech clearly
Use a large font and double spacing so your eyes can follow the lines easily. It also helps if your hands tremble or your vision blurs with tears.
Mark pauses
Adding small slashes or spaces on the page reminds you to breathe and slow down. Pauses also give your listeners time to take in your words.
Pay attention to body language
Stand tall, breathe deeply, and make gentle eye contact from time to time. These simple gestures help you feel grounded and keep your audience engaged.
Ground yourself with a keepsake
Holding something that belonged to your ex-partner — a book, a photo, or a keepsake tied to their hobbies — can steady you and provide comfort.
If emotions rise
Don’t be afraid to stop, breathe, or sip water. A pause shows love and gives everyone a chance to share in the moment. People will understand.
Have a backup
Give a copy of your speech to someone you trust. If you feel unable to continue, they can step in, ensuring your words are still heard.
Other Styles and Examples
Every eulogy is unique, and there are many different ways people choose to honour an ex-partner. Some prefer a short, tender eulogy, focusing on just one or two meaningful memories. Others create a longer, more detailed tribute that might last 15 minutes or more.
If you’re looking for inspiration, you might explore:
A sample eulogy for an ex-partner remembered with respect, reflecting on the years you shared, the lessons learned, and the ways they shaped your life.
A eulogy for an ex-partner who remained a close friend, highlighting the bond that endured beyond the relationship, through laughter, support, and mutual care.
A funny eulogy for an ex-partner, when their humour, quirks, or unforgettable stories would bring smiles to those gathered.
A brief eulogy example for an ex-partner, which can be just as powerful when time is short but heartfelt words are needed.
A simple template for writing a eulogy for an ex-partner, to provide structure if you’re unsure where to begin.
These variations all serve the same purpose: to honour your ex-partner in a way that feels true. Whether you write something short and simple or a longer, more detailed speech, what matters most is that your words come from the heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Most eulogies last around 6–8 minutes when spoken, usually 800–1,200 words. This length feels comfortable for many funeral services. However, some families prefer a more detailed tribute that runs 10–20 minutes (around 1,500–2,500 words), especially at celebrations of life or memorial gatherings where there is more time to share stories.
The right length depends on the setting, the audience, and how much you feel needs to be said.
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Yes, if it feels natural and reflects their personality. Light humour or a favourite story can often bring comfort and smiles during a difficult moment.
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Absolutely. Sometimes several relatives choose to share short reflections, offering different perspectives on the life and personality of the person they loved. These shorter tributes can complement one another beautifully — showing how your ex-partner touched lives in many ways.
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It’s okay. Ask someone else to step in, or pause and continue when ready.
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Yes. A template can provide structure if you’re unsure where to start. You can adapt it with your own stories and details to make it personal.
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A short eulogy often highlights one or two memories, a defining quality, and a farewell. Example:
“My ex-partner, Amanda was warm and generous. She always made everyone feel welcome. We’ll miss her kindness, but we’ll carry it with us.”
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Yes — if it reflects who they were. Gentle humour, especially tied to shared family stories, can bring smiles even in grief.
💬 The First Words Can Be the Hardest — Let Us Help
Writing a eulogy for your ex-partner can feel overwhelming. That’s why we offer to write the first 150 words for free — based on your memories. It’s a gentle first step, so you don’t have to face the blank page alone.
No cost. No pressure. Just a little help when you need it most.
Writing a eulogy for your ex-partner — whether you say Ex-Partner, Former Spouse, Friend, or even use a personal nickname only the two of you shared — is not about saying everything. It’s about saying something true. With even a few heartfelt words, you can honour their memory, bring comfort to others, and carry their story forward with dignity.
Your ex-partner’s influence lives on in the lessons you shared, the memories you built together, and the unique role they played in your life. By offering even a glimpse of who they were, you help keep their spirit alive — felt in the stories retold, in the impact they had on others, and in the way your shared history continues to shape your journey.
