How to Write a Eulogy for a Brother-in-Law (Bro-in-Law)
Writing a eulogy for your brother-in-law may feel unexpectedly difficult. Whether you thought of him as a brother, a friend, or simply part of the extended family, the challenge is the same: you’re trying to capture his place in your life and in your family’s story — all within a few minutes of spoken words.
That can feel impossible — and in some ways, it is. A single speech can never reflect everything he was or everything he meant. But it can capture something real, and that glimpse can bring great comfort to those listening.
This is why a eulogy matters. It gives voice to your grief, but it also celebrates his life. It helps those who listen connect to their own memories of him, and it leaves you with the reassurance that you’ve honoured him in the best way you can.
Writing for a brother-in-law — or brother in law, as many people refer to him — is often uniquely meaningful. He may have been the one who welcomed you into the family, became a true friend over time, or showed his character through loyalty, humour, or quiet support.
To stand and speak at his farewell can feel like a moment of gratitude — a way of acknowledging the bond you shared and the role he played in your life and the wider family. That makes the task tender, and deeply significant.
It’s important to know there is no “perfect” eulogy. It doesn’t need to be polished or poetic. It just needs to be sincere.
Whether your brother-in-law’s death was sudden or expected, whether you are speaking in a church, a crematorium, or at a celebration of life gathering, your words will matter most because they come from you.
In this guide, we’ll explore what a eulogy for a brother-in-law means, outline structures you can follow, provide reflection prompts, share a full example speech, and offer gentle advice for writing and delivering with confidence.
What a Eulogy for a Brother-in-Law Means
A eulogy for a brother-in-law is not just a recounting of his life events. It’s an expression of respect, gratitude, and remembrance. Brothers-in-law hold a unique place in families: they may arrive through marriage, but over time often become true friends, trusted companions, or even like another sibling.
When we speak of them at a funeral, we are often speaking not only about what they did, but about who they were — the qualities that defined them and the way they shaped family life.
A eulogy for a brother in law often weaves together three strands:
Gratitude and Respect — the loyalty, kindness, or support he offered, whether to you directly, to your sibling, or to the wider family.
Stories and Memories — the moments that capture his personality: his humour, his advice, his hobbies, or the way he made family gatherings lighter and more fun.
Legacy — how his influence continues to live on through the people he loved, the memories you shared, and the example he set.
Even the words we choose carry emotion. “Brother-in-law” can feel formal, “brother in law” more casual, and “bro-in-law” affectionate and familiar. Whichever you use, the meaning is personal and rooted in your own relationship.
And remember: your brother-in-law’s story doesn’t have to be told in a grand way. Sometimes it’s the most ordinary memories — a shared holiday, a running joke, or the way he always helped without being asked — that capture him more vividly than any milestone.
Types of Eulogies for a Brother-in-Law
There’s no single “right” way to write a eulogy. Some people naturally tell a life story in order, while others prefer to focus on qualities, values, or specific memories. Knowing the different styles can take away some of the pressure, because it reminds you that you can choose the shape that feels most natural to you — and to your brother-in-law’s story.
Below are three common approaches. You don’t have to follow them exactly, but they can give you a starting point as you think about how to organise your words.
Chronological
This approach tells his life story in order: childhood, education, career, marriage, family years, later life.
Example opening: “My brother-in-law was born in 1970 in Manchester. He was the youngest of four children, and even then, he was known for his adventurous spirit…”
Thematic
This focuses on qualities or themes such as loyalty, humour, resilience, or generosity.
Example opening: “If I had to choose one word to describe my brother in law, it would be loyalty. He stood by his family, his friends, and his values through every stage of life.”
Hybrid
This blends both: a brief timeline followed by themed stories.
Example opening: “Bro-in-law’s story began in Glasgow, but what truly defined him was his generosity and his humour — qualities that shaped every chapter of his life.”
Most people find the hybrid easiest, as it balances structure with flexibility. Whichever style you choose, remember that what matters most is authenticity. Even a simple framework can carry powerful meaning when the words come from the heart.
Structure of a Eulogy (Framework You Can Follow)
One of the biggest hurdles in writing a eulogy is simply knowing where to start. Having a clear structure can take away some of the pressure and give you a roadmap to follow. You don’t have to stick to it rigidly — the best tributes are those that feel natural — but these five parts can help you turn scattered memories into a flowing, heartfelt speech.
Opening Words
Begin by welcoming everyone and acknowledging why you’re gathered. A simple thank-you creates connection straight away.
Example: “Thank you for being here today to celebrate the life of my brother-in-law, David.”
Life Overview
Offer a short sketch of your brother-in-law’s journey — where he grew up, his family, career, passions, or key milestones. Keep it brief; the aim is to provide context, not a full biography.
Stories and Anecdotes
Choose two or three moments that capture who she was. These might be funny, touching, or everyday stories that reveal her character. Anecdotes are often what people remember most.
Qualities and Values
Highlight the traits that defined him: hardworking, supportive, witty, loyal, or generous. Linking these qualities back to your stories makes the tribute feel cohesive.
Closing Words
End with a final farewell, a blessing, or a comforting thought. This is your chance to leave listeners with a lasting impression of his spirit.
Example: “Brother-in-law, your humour and generosity will stay with us always, carried in our stories and our hearts.”
Reflection Prompts
Facing a blank page can be daunting. Sometimes the hardest part of writing a eulogy is knowing where to begin. Reflection prompts are gentle questions designed to spark memories and help you put scattered thoughts into words. They give you a starting point — not to limit what you say, but to open the door to stories and feelings you might otherwise overlook.
Use these prompts to get started:
What lessons did my brother-in-law share that I still carry with me?
How did my brother in law show kindness, humour, or support in everyday ways?
Which routines, traditions, or family moments remind me of him?
What did he value most in life?
If I had one more chance, what would I thank him for?
If those prompts feel helpful but you’re still struggling to put pen to paper, another way to spark ideas is through objects connected to your brother-in-law. Physical reminders — like a shared photo from a holiday, his favourite music, or a hobby he loved — often unlock memories and emotions that questions alone can’t reach.
Memory Exercise
Sometimes memories flow easily; other times they feel just out of reach. A simple exercise can help unlock them. By using objects connected to your brother-in-law — a photo, a keepsake from a family holiday, his favourite football shirt, or even an old birthday card — you can trigger stories and emotions that may be exactly what you want to share in your eulogy.
Try this:
Gather photos, letters, or personal items of your brother in law’s.
Choose one and write about the memory it evokes.
Free-write for 10 minutes without editing.
Highlight one or two details you could share in your eulogy.
Asking your partner, siblings, or other family members for their favourite memories can also help. Even a single story from another person may spark ideas of your own.
Example Eulogy for a Brother-in-Law (Bro-in-in-Law)
Reading examples can often make the task feel less overwhelming. Seeing how someone else has shaped their thoughts into a speech helps you imagine what your own might look like.
The following example isn’t meant to be copied word for word — instead, it shows one possible way to weave together memories, qualities, and gratitude into a flowing tribute.
As you read, notice the structure: a short welcome, a few key stories, reflections on his character, and a heartfelt closing. You can adapt this to your own brother-in-law’s life, swapping in details and stories that feel true to you.
Thank you all for being here today to honour and remember my brother-in-law, James. Seeing so many of you gathered is a reminder of how many lives he touched.
To me, he wasn’t just a brother-in-law. Over time, he became a friend, a mentor, and in many ways, like a true brother. Whether I called him my brother-in-law, my bro-in-law, or simply James, he was always the same person: steady, loyal, and full of humour.
James grew up in a busy household, one of three siblings. He loved telling stories about long summer days playing football in the park, sneaking into the cinema, and the adventures that got him into just enough trouble to keep life interesting. Those stories showed his lively spirit — something he carried with him all his life.
As part of our family, James created connection. From the very beginning, he welcomed me in — with a firm handshake, a quick joke, and the sense that I belonged. Over the years, he became someone I could rely on, not only for practical help but for encouragement and perspective.
I remember one winter when we attempted a DIY project together. Everything went wrong — the shelves were crooked, the paint was everywhere — but James just laughed and said, “At least we’ve got good stories out of it.” That was his way: finding humour even in frustration.
He also had resilience. When challenges came, he faced them with quiet strength. He never made a show of it, but his determination inspired all of us.
James’s greatest pride was his family. He adored his children and loved being an uncle. He said the happiest moments weren’t about big successes, but about everyday joys — cheering at school matches, weekend barbecues, or simply sitting in the garden surrounded by family.
I know no words can capture everything he was. But I hope these give you a glimpse of his humour, his loyalty, and his love.
James, thank you for your friendship, your laughter, and your steady presence. We will miss you deeply, but we take comfort knowing your spirit lives on in each of us.
Rest peacefully. You will always be part of us.
Want to see more eulogy examples for a bother-in-law? We’ve put together a dedicated page of eulogy examples for a brother-in-law — offering different lengths, tones, and styles to help you find inspiration.
💛 Struggling to Write a Eulogy for Your Brother-in-Law?
The above example eulogy for a brother-in-law is around 360 words (2–2.5 minutes). A full eulogy is usually 800–1,200 words (6–8 minutes), giving you more space to share stories and memories.
If you’re unsure how to start, or stuck partway through, we can help. We’ll shape a thoughtful first draft from your memories — or give kind, constructive feedback on what you’ve already written.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
Even with the best intentions, many people find writing a eulogy harder than expected. Grief makes it difficult to think clearly, and the pressure of “getting it right” can feel overwhelming. The good news is that almost everyone faces similar hurdles, and there are gentle ways to move past them.
Here are some of the most common challenges — and simple approaches to help you through:
Too emotional to write
Grief makes it hard to focus, let alone write. If tears stop you before you start, try jotting down short notes or bullet points instead of full sentences. You can also record yourself speaking into your phone — sometimes words flow more naturally when spoken than when written. Later, you can shape these fragments into a draft.
Worried about leaving something out
Every life is bigger than any single speech, and no eulogy can capture it all. The aim isn’t to say everything, but to say something meaningful. Choose a few stories or qualities that represent your brother-in-law best. Listeners will fill in the gaps with their own memories, and that’s part of what makes a eulogy so powerful.
Unsure how long it should be
Most eulogies last around 6–8 minutes (roughly 800–1,200 words), which feels comfortable for most services. But some families prefer a more detailed tribute lasting 10–20 minutes (around 1,500–2,500 words), especially at celebrations of life or memorial gatherings. The right length depends on the setting and what you feel needs to be said.
Family disagreements
Sometimes siblings, in-laws, or relatives have different ideas about what should be included. Tensions can rise if everyone wants their perspective represented. A helpful approach is to agree on a few shared themes early — love, humour, resilience, generosity — and let each person’s stories fit under those. This way the tribute feels balanced without becoming a debate.
Do’s and Don’ts
When you’re writing a eulogy, it can be reassuring to have some gentle guidelines. These aren’t strict rules — every tribute is unique — but they can help you focus on what really matters and avoid common pitfalls.
Do:
✅ Keep it personal
Share your own memories and experiences rather than trying to sound like someone else. Listeners want to hear your voice.
✅ Use small details
Everyday touches — a favourite phrase, a well-worn chair, the way he stirred her tea — often capture more than big achievements.
✅ Practice aloud
Reading the words out loud will help you find the right rhythm and spot anything that feels awkward.
✅ Allow yourself to pause
Emotion is natural. Taking a breath, sipping water, or simply standing in silence for a moment can be just as powerful as words.
Avoid:
⚠️ Feeling you need to be formal or eloquent
A eulogy isn’t a performance — sincerity matters more than polished language.
⚠️ Forced humour
Gentle humour can bring comfort, but only if it feels natural and true to your brother-in-law’s personality.
⚠️ Comparing your words to others
Every tribute is different; focus on what you want to say, not how it measures up.
⚠️ Apologising for emotion — it’s natural
Tears and pauses show the depth of your love. No one will think less of you for them.
Tips for Delivering the Eulogy
Even with a carefully written speech, the thought of standing up and speaking can feel daunting. The good news is that no one expects perfection. People will be listening with compassion, not criticism. These tips can help you feel calmer and more prepared when the time comes.
Rehearse aloud
Reading silently isn’t the same as hearing your words out loud. Practising a few times will help you hear the natural rhythm, smooth out tricky phrases, and build confidence.
Print your speech clearly
Use a large font and double spacing so your eyes can follow the lines easily. It also helps if your hands tremble or your vision blurs with tears.
Mark pauses
Adding small slashes or spaces on the page reminds you to breathe and slow down. Pauses also give your listeners time to take in your words.
Pay attention to body language
Stand tall, breathe deeply, and make gentle eye contact from time to time. These simple gestures help you feel grounded and keep your audience engaged.
Ground yourself with a keepsake
Holding something that belonged to your brother-in-law — a watch, a photo, or an item connected to his hobbies — can steady you and provide comfort.
If emotions rise
Don’t be afraid to stop, breathe, or sip water. A pause shows love and gives everyone a chance to share in the moment. People will understand.
Have a backup
Give a copy of your speech to someone you trust. If you feel unable to continue, they can step in, ensuring your words are still heard.
Other Styles and Examples
Every eulogy is unique, and there are many different ways people choose to honour their brother-in-law. Some prefer a short, loving eulogy for a brother in law, focusing on just one or two heartfelt memories. Others create a longer, more detailed tribute that might last 15 minutes or more.
If you’re looking for inspiration, you might explore:
A sample eulogy for a brother-in-law from a brother or sister-in-law, sharing gratitude for his friendship and support.
A sample eulogy for a brother-in-law from a son-in-law or daughter-in-law, reflecting on the bond that grew over time and the role he played in the wider family.
A funny eulogy for a brother in law, when humour was central to his personality and would bring a smile to those listening.
A brief eulogy example for a brother-in-law, which can be just as powerful when time is limited.
A simple template for writing a eulogy for your brother-in-law, to give structure if you’re unsure where to start.
These variations all serve the same purpose: to honour him in a way that feels true. Whether you write something short and simple or a longer, more detailed speech, what matters most is that your words come from the heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Most eulogies last around 6–8 minutes when spoken, usually 800–1,200 words. This length feels comfortable for many funeral services. However, some families prefer a more detailed tribute that runs 10–20 minutes (around 1,500–2,500 words), especially at celebrations of life or memorial gatherings where there is more time to share stories.
The right length depends on the setting, the audience, and how much you feel needs to be said.
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Yes, if it feels natural and reflects his personality. Light humour or a favourite story can often bring comfort and smiles during a difficult moment.
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Absolutely. Some families invite both sons-in-law and daughters-in-law, or even grandchildren, to share short reflections so her memory is honoured from different perspectives.
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It’s okay. Ask someone else to step in, or pause and continue when ready.
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Yes. A template can provide structure if you’re unsure where to start. You can adapt it with your own stories and details to make it personal.
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A short eulogy often highlights one or two memories, a defining quality, and a farewell. Example: “My brother-in-law Mark was generous and loyal. He always knew how to make people feel welcome. We’ll miss his laughter, but we’ll carry it with us.”
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Yes — if it reflects who he was. Gentle humour, especially tied to shared family stories, can bring smiles even in grief.
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Focus on what you observed and what others share with you. Speak to his qualities, the impact he had on your partner or family, and the gratitude you feel for the role he played in their lives.
💬 The First Words Can Be the Hardest — Let Us Help
Writing a eulogy for your brother-in-law can feel overwhelming. That’s why we offer to write the first 150 words for free — based on your memories. It’s a gentle first step, so you don’t have to face the blank page alone.
No cost. No pressure. Just a little help when you need it most.
Writing a eulogy for your brother-in-law — whether you say Brother-in-Law or Bro-in-Law — is not about saying everything. It’s about saying something true. With even a few heartfelt words, you can honour his memory, bring comfort to others, and carry his story forward with love and dignity.
Your brother-in-law’s influence lives on in the family and friendships he helped shape. By sharing even a glimpse of his life with others, you help keep his spirit alive.
