How to Write an Obituary (Guide + Examples)
Writing an obituary is one of the most personal and meaningful tasks you may ever undertake. Yet, it’s also one of the most emotionally challenging. At a time when grief can make even the simplest decisions feel overwhelming, capturing someone’s entire life in just a few paragraphs can seem impossible. Where do you start? What should you include? How do you strike the right balance between heartfelt storytelling and essential details?
This guide is designed to help you through that process with care and clarity. We’ll walk you through exactly how to write an obituary—from gathering information to choosing the right tone—so you can create a tribute that feels personal, dignified, and complete. Along the way, we’ll provide practical examples, a free obituary template, and answers to common questions. Whether you’re writing for a local newspaper, a funeral program, or an online memorial, this obituary writing guide will help you honour your loved one beautifully while also meeting the practical needs of publication.
What Is an Obituary, and Why Does It Matter?
Before you begin writing, it’s helpful to pause and truly understand the obituary meaning and its role in honouring a loved one. An obituary is much more than an announcement—it’s a carefully crafted message that shares someone’s life story with others, offering comfort, closure, and a way for the community to come together in remembrance. Knowing this helps you approach the task with both purpose and compassion.
Obituary Meaning and Definition
An obituary is a written notice of someone’s death. Traditionally, obituaries are published in newspapers, but today they are also found in funeral programs, online memorial sites, and even on social media. An obituary serves multiple purposes:
It informs family and friends of someone’s passing and provides details about funeral arrangements.
It celebrates the person’s life, capturing their personality, accomplishments, and the legacy they leave behind.
It preserves their story, often becoming part of the historical record that future generations can revisit.
It’s worth noting that an obituary is not the same as a eulogy. A eulogy is a spoken tribute delivered during a funeral or memorial service, often more personal and anecdotal. An obituary, on the other hand, is a written summary—a carefully crafted piece that balances practical information with personal reflection.
Why Obituaries Still Matter in the Digital Age
Some may wonder: in a world where news spreads quickly through social media, do obituaries still matter? Absolutely. Obituaries are often more than just announcements—they are acts of remembrance. They allow communities to share in grief, invite participation in memorials, and, importantly, they provide a permanent record of someone’s life. While social posts disappear in a feed, a published obituary—whether online or in print—stands as a lasting tribute.
What Makes a Good Obituary?
It’s natural to feel unsure about how much to include or how personal to make it. A good obituary strikes a balance between sharing essential details and capturing the essence of the person’s life. When written with care, it becomes more than just an announcement—it becomes a meaningful keepsake for family, friends, and future generations.
The Essential Qualities of a Good Obituary
Clarity: Dates, names, and locations must be accurate. This isn’t just about storytelling—it’s also a historical record.
Respect: Maintain a dignified tone, especially when covering sensitive details.
Personality: Share what made them unique—hobbies, quirks, achievements, and passions.
Brevity: Even a longer obituary should avoid unnecessary repetition or overly detailed biographies.
Suitability: Tailor your content and tone to your chosen medium. A newspaper obituary may be brief and formal; an online memorial can be longer and more narrative.
Where Obituaries Appear (and Why It Matters)
The intended publication affects your approach.
Newspapers: Often charge by line or word. Keep it concise.
Funeral Programs: Typically allow for more personal touches and longer text.
Online Memorials: Space is often unlimited—making them ideal for comprehensive storytelling.
Step-by-Step Guide: How to Write an Obituary
Knowing how to write an obituary can feel overwhelming at first—but taking it step by step makes it manageable. This guide will walk you through the process, from gathering essential information to choosing the right tone, so you can create a tribute that’s thoughtful, personal, and ready for publication.
Step 1: Gather Essential Information
Start by compiling the necessary facts. This is your foundation.
Full Name: Include any nicknames or maiden names, if relevant.
Age: At the time of death.
Date and Place of Birth: Include city, state (and country, if relevant).
Date and Place of Death: Provide as much context as you’re comfortable sharing.
Cause of Death (Optional): Only if the family is comfortable including it.
Immediate Family Members: Spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings. Include predeceased family where appropriate.
Education and Career: Schools, degrees, key roles or contributions.
Achievements: Awards, community contributions, or notable life accomplishments.
Interests and Hobbies: What brought them joy? What defined their personality?
Funeral or Memorial Information: Date, time, location, and whether it’s public or private.
Charitable Requests: If the family prefers donations in lieu of flowers, provide clear instructions.
Tip: Gather this information collaboratively with family members. It helps ensure nothing important is missed and gives everyone a chance to contribute.
Step 2: Decide What to Include
Not every detail needs to make it into the obituary. If your loved one lived a long, full life, you may find yourself with more information than space allows. In that case, prioritise:
Key life milestones (education, career highlights).
Personal passions or hobbies that defined them.
Anecdotes that add warmth and character.
Community or charitable involvement.
Remember: an obituary isn’t a biography. It’s a snapshot—a meaningful summary of a life well-lived.
Step 3: Choose the Tone
Tone matters. It sets the emotional temperature for the reader.
Formal Tone: Best for newspapers or formal funeral programs.
Personal and Warm: Ideal for online memorials or when the audience is primarily close friends and family.
Examples:
Formal: “John Doe, age 82, of Manchester, passed away peacefully on 12 March 2023.”
Personal: “Our beloved father and grandfather, John Doe, left us peacefully on 12 March 2023, surrounded by those who loved him most.”
Step 4: Write a Strong Opening Line
Your first sentence sets the stage. It should include the name, age, date of passing, and possibly the cause (if you wish to share).
Examples:
“It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of Mary Thompson, aged 76, on 4 July 2023.”
“Our beloved father, James Edward Smith, passed away peacefully in his sleep on 10 June 2023 at the age of 84.”
“Celebrating the life of Anna Maria Lopez, who departed this world on 15 August 2023, leaving behind a legacy of love and laughter.”
Step 5: Add Life Highlights
Once you’ve delivered the facts, bring the person to life with a few well-chosen highlights.
This could include:
Career achievements (e.g., “a devoted teacher for 35 years”).
Community involvement (e.g., “an active volunteer with the local food bank”).
Passions or quirks (e.g., “known for her famous apple pie and love of gardening”).
Keep it short and specific. One or two well-crafted sentences often say more than a long list.
Step 6: List Family Members
Mention family members in order of closest relation:
Spouse/partner.
Children and their spouses.
Grandchildren.
Parents and siblings.
Tip: Decide whether to include all names or simply refer to “survived by” immediate family. Also include predeceased family where relevant.
Step 7: Funeral and Donation Details
End with logistical details:
Date, time, and location of the funeral or memorial.
Whether the event is public or private.
Information about donations (“In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to [charity name]”).
Step 8: Review and Refine
Proofreading is essential. Errors in names or dates can be painful for grieving families and embarrassing if printed. Check:
Accuracy: Dates, names, and locations.
Tone: Ensure the obituary reflects the dignity and personality of the deceased.
Clarity: Avoid overly long or complicated sentences.
Pro Tip: Read the obituary aloud—it’s the quickest way to catch awkward phrasing.
🕊️ Need Help Writing an Obituary?
Writing an obituary while grieving can feel overwhelming. If you’d prefer support, we can help.
We offer a fast, affordable Obituary Writing Service — from short newspaper notices to detailed memorial pieces — written with care and ready to publish.
Our team works with you to ensure the obituary reflects the person’s life accurately and respectfully — giving you one less thing to worry about during a difficult time.
Examples of Obituaries (with Commentary)
Looking at obituary examples can take away some of the uncertainty you may be feeling. Seeing how others have balanced facts with personal stories helps you understand what works well and inspires you to find the right words for your own tribute. The following examples—short, standard, and comprehensive—show how an obituary can adapt to different needs and formats.
Short Obituary Example (50–100 words)
“Margaret ‘Maggie’ Clarke, 82, passed away peacefully at home in Oxford on 5 July 2023. Beloved wife of Peter for 60 wonderful years, devoted mother to Susan and Jonathan, and proud grandmother of five, Maggie lived a life full of kindness, laughter, and love. She will be remembered for her warm heart, flourishing garden, and the Sunday dinners she hosted for family and friends. A private service will be held. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the British Heart Foundation.”
Why It Works:
Concise & Clear: It covers the essentials—name, age, date, place, surviving family.
Personal Touch: Briefly captures personality (“warm heart,” “love of gardening”).
Practical: Includes charity donation details.
Best For:
Newspaper notices (where cost per word is high).
Situations where privacy is important (e.g., private funeral).
Standard Obituary Example (200–300 words)
“Robert James ‘Bob’ Lewis, 74, of Bristol, passed away peacefully on 14 June 2023, surrounded by his family. Born on 22 April 1949 in Cardiff, Bob was a devoted husband to Anne for 50 wonderful years, a proud father to Rachel and Daniel, and a loving grandfather to five grandchildren who brought immense joy to his later years.
Bob’s career as a civil engineer spanned more than four decades, during which he played a pivotal role in designing and managing infrastructure projects that shaped his community. His colleagues remember him not only for his technical skill but for his generosity in mentoring younger engineers, helping many launch successful careers of their own.
Outside of work, Bob had a deep love for the water. A passionate sailor, he spent countless weekends on the Bristol Channel and enjoyed teaching his grandchildren the basics of sailing. In retirement, he devoted his time to volunteering at the Bristol Harbour Trust, where his dedication and easy humour made him a much-loved figure among fellow volunteers and the wider community.
A celebration of Bob’s life will take place at St. Michael’s Church, Bristol, on 22 June at 11 a.m., followed by a reception at The Harbour Club. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the RNLI, a charity close to his heart.”
Why It Works:
Balanced Content: Provides both personal and professional highlights.
Warm but Formal: Suitable for funeral programs or local paper publication.
Celebratory: Emphasises his contributions and passions.
Best For:
Funeral programs.
Mid-length local newspaper announcements.
Comprehensive Obituary Example (300–500 words)
“Patricia Anne ‘Pat’ O’Connor, 90, passed away peacefully on 3 August 2023 in her family home in Dublin, surrounded by her loved ones. Born on 16 March 1933 in Cork to Michael and Kathleen Byrne, Pat grew up as the eldest of five children in a home filled with laughter, resilience, and a strong sense of community. She attended University College Dublin, where she earned her degree in social work—an early sign of the vocation that would define her life.
Pat dedicated her career, spanning more than 35 years, to advocating for vulnerable families and children. Working tirelessly in the Dublin area, she became known for her fierce compassion, patience, and unwavering belief in people’s ability to change their lives for the better. Colleagues recall her as a mentor, a friend, and a determined advocate whose work left an indelible mark on the communities she served. Though she received several awards for her contributions to social work, Pat always insisted her greatest achievement was the lasting difference she made in the lives of those she helped.
Outside her professional life, Pat was a woman of many passions. A voracious reader and lover of Irish literature, she could often be found sharing recommendations with friends or re-reading her favourite Yeats poems. Her curiosity about history led her to become an active member of the Dublin Historical Society, where she not only attended events but frequently led walking tours that highlighted the city’s rich cultural past. Her friends and family will always remember her as a gifted storyteller with a unique ability to bring history—and her own experiences—to life over a simple cup of tea in her beloved garden. She had a wonderful sense of humour and an easy warmth that drew people to her, making visitors to her home feel instantly welcome.
Pat was preceded in death by her devoted husband, Michael, with whom she shared 45 years of marriage, and their eldest son, Liam. She is survived by her daughters, Niamh and Aisling; her son, Conor; seven grandchildren, who were the light of her later years; her sisters Maureen and Eileen; and her beloved dog, Molly.
A funeral mass will be held at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Dublin, on 10 August at 10 a.m., with burial to follow at Glasnevin Cemetery. The family requests donations to Focus Ireland in lieu of flowers, continuing Pat’s legacy of supporting those most in need.”
Why It Works:
Comprehensive & Narrative: Paints a full picture of Pat’s life, interests, and impact.
Community-Oriented: Reflects her contributions and cultural connections.
Personal & Relatable: Incorporates small details (tea in the garden, storytelling) that bring her personality to life.
Best For:
Online memorials.
Printed funeral programs with space for longer tributes.
Which Type of Obituary Do I Need?
Once you’ve seen a few examples of obituaries, you may be wondering: “How long should mine be?” The answer depends on where you plan to publish it and how much you’d like to share. This quick guide will help you choose the format—short, standard, or comprehensive—that best fits your needs.
| Type | Length | Ideal For |
|---|---|---|
| Short | 50–100 words | Newspapers, simple announcements |
| Standard | 200–300 words | Local newspapers, funeral programs |
| Comprehensive | 300–500 words | Online memorials, detailed programs |
Pro Tip: Many families publish two versions: a short one in the newspaper (for cost) and a longer one online (for storytelling).
Common Mistakes to Avoid
In the rush of planning a funeral or memorial, it’s easy for small but important details to slip through. Taking a little extra time to review your obituary can help you avoid common errors—like missing key information or using a tone that doesn’t quite feel right.
Here are some frequent pitfalls and how to steer clear of them:
Too much detail: Avoid turning it into a full biography. Keep it focused.
Inconsistent tone: Don’t mix overly casual and overly formal styles.
Errors in names/dates: Double-check everything—misspellings can be deeply hurtful.
Skipping family approval: Always have a close relative review the final draft.
Leaving out funeral details: If public attendance is welcome, make sure you include them.
Personalising Your Obituary
An obituary doesn’t have to be just a list of dates and names. Adding personal touches—stories, quotes, or favourite hobbies—can bring your loved one’s personality to life. These details help family and friends connect with the obituary on a deeper level, turning it into a truly memorable tribute.
Quotes: A favourite saying or personal motto.
Anecdotes: A short, meaningful story or memory.
Passions: Highlight unique hobbies or interests (e.g., “avid beekeeper,” “devoted Manchester United fan”).
Photographs: If allowed by the publication, a photo adds warmth and connection.
Obituary Etiquette and Cultural Sensitivity
Every family and culture has its own traditions when it comes to remembering a loved one. Being mindful of these practices ensures your obituary feels both respectful and appropriate. Whether it’s considering religious customs or protecting your family’s privacy, this section will help you navigate the process thoughtfully.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
Some traditions require or forbid sharing certain details (e.g., cause of death).
Religious customs may influence funeral information (e.g., “Mass of Christian Burial” vs. “Celebration of Life”).
Privacy
Decide how much personal information to include. It’s okay to omit specific addresses or causes of death if the family prefers.
Handling Difficult Situations
Some obituaries are more complicated to write than others. Whether you’re dealing with a sudden or tragic loss, complex family dynamics, or other sensitive circumstances, it’s important to approach the writing process with care. Here’s how to navigate these situations while maintaining dignity and compassion:
Sudden or Tragic Death: Use simple, respectful language. For example: “passed unexpectedly” or “after a brief illness.”
Complicated Family Dynamics: You don’t need to include every relative. Keep it neutral and avoid hurtful omissions.
Estranged Relatives: Mention them only if the family agrees.
Sharing and Updating Obituaries
Gone are the days when obituaries only appeared in the local newspaper. Today, families share them in many ways—from funeral home websites to social media. Here we show how to share your obituary thoughtfully and even update it later if needed, ensuring it reaches everyone who wants to remember your loved one.
Social Media: Share a link to the online obituary. Include a heartfelt message and photo.
Email: Send the obituary to extended family and friends.
Updates: For online memorials, you can add tributes, photos, or corrections later.
How Much Do Obituaries Cost?
One of the most practical questions families ask is: “How much does it cost to publish an obituary?” The truth is, prices can vary widely depending on where and how you choose to share it. Understanding these costs in advance helps you make the best decisions for your family and your budget.
Newspapers:
Often charge per word, line, or column inch. Prices can range from £50–£300 for a local paper to over £500 for national outlets.
Adding photos may cost extra.
Funeral Homes:
Some include obituary drafting and publishing in their service packages.
Online Memorials:
Usually free or low-cost (many funeral directors offer this service at no extra charge).
Allows for unlimited space, photos, and guestbook features.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Most obituaries are between 50 and 500 words, depending on where they’ll be published. Shorter obituaries (50–100 words) are common in newspapers, while longer versions (300–500 words) are often used for funeral programs or online memorials where there’s more space to share someone’s story.
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Traditionally, obituaries are published in local or national newspapers, but many families now also share them on funeral home websites, online memorial pages, or even social media. It’s common to use a combination—such as a short notice in the paper with a longer tribute online.
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Costs vary widely.
Local newspapers often charge per word or line, with prices ranging from modest fees to several hundred pounds for larger notices.
Online memorials are often free or very affordable, especially if arranged through a funeral director. Always check pricing in advance to avoid surprises.
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You can, but it often works best to tailor each version. For example, you might use a short, formal version for the newspaper and a longer, more personal one for an online memorial or funeral program.
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If the funeral or memorial is open to the public, it’s helpful to include the date, time, and location. If the service is private or family-only, you can simply state that arrangements are private or will be held at a later date.
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An obituary is a written announcement that informs others of someone’s passing and celebrates their life. A eulogy is a spoken tribute, usually delivered at a funeral or memorial service. Many families use both to honour their loved one in different ways.
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Absolutely. Many people find it comforting to ask for help. Funeral directors, professional writers, or even close friends can support you in crafting an obituary that feels right. If you’d like more guidance, our team at Dignity Bereavement Support can create a personalised obituary on your behalf, ensuring it reflects your loved one’s life with care and respect.
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If your loved one supported a cause, you can add a simple line such as: “In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made to [charity name].” Including the charity’s website or donation link makes it easy for others to contribute.
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This is completely optional. Some families choose to share the cause of death for transparency or to raise awareness of an illness, while others prefer to keep it private. There’s no right or wrong decision—do what feels appropriate for your family.
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Obituaries are often written by a close family member, but you don’t have to do it alone. Some families collaborate to gather memories, while others choose to work with professional writers like those at Dignity Bereavement Support. We can help you turn your thoughts into a polished, heartfelt obituary that captures your loved one’s legacy beautifully.
